Son of My Parents is a sequel to the author's previous book Son of My Father, click Here for my review.
I looked forward to reading this book as the first book was in honour of Tosin's father, I was eager to read about his parents and maybe get more insights into their marriage and parenting style and I must say I was not disappointed.
This book Son of My Parents was in honour of the author's parents 50th wedding anniversary. Using his parent's experience in marriage, Tosin shared the factors that enabled a lovely and lasting marital relationship between them.
In the first chapter of this book, we are introduced to Tosin's parents and he shed more light on the definition of a parent, and the factors that makes one an exceptional parent, which according to the author, his parents fit that description perfectly
Parenthood, as simply defined, is the state of being a parent and meeting the responsibilities involved.
The author also shed light on the difference between being a parent by the virtue of giving birth to a child and actually being responsible for the child's wellbeing.
The next chapter titled Before the beginning - The Bolekaja ride - is my number one favourite, It gives the readers an insight into the relationship between Tosin's parents before they got married and their friendship with another couple, who later became Tosin's parents Best man and woman at their wedding. It is worthy to note that the friendship that started on the Bolekaja ride is still in existence to date. A chapter was dedicated to the author's parents wedding ceremony with pictures.
Chapter 4, another favourite chapter of mine is titled "HE IS THE HEAD". It is somewhat controversial but worth reading. The author made a remarkable effort in enlightening readers as to who is the head of a Christian home and how the acceptance of that headship can be the bedrock to a successful marital relationship. The author also wrote about the partnership, mutual respect and friendship that existed in his parents marriage based on the acceptance of Christ as the head of their home. He expatiated on that point with this statement.
To buttress this, let's go back to the beginning when God instituted the first marriage between Adam and Eve, He was the head of that marriage, not Adam. Adam and Eve were united as one who were in submission to the will of their Father who was the head of their home. As long as that , God's arrangement for them subsisted, everything was in perfect condition as the creator ordained it to be. They received instruction from their Father and everything was perfect.
He went on to add
Not until that arrangement was scuttled by them yielding a usurper cut off their connection to God the Father and his original plan did the father introduce their new mode of operation as a consequence of their action and not as a matter of his original intention
Therefore he said to the woman, "your desire shall be to your husband and he shall rule over you". This narrative erroneously is what men have practised for donkey years without realising that it's the narrative of the consequence of the fall, not the narrative originally intended by God.
Hence the patriarchal narrative has held sway for a long time and women have continually been at the receiving end of it and that in many cases has been very unpleasant.
This chapter largely emphasised on the oneness and equality of both man and woman in the institution called marriage and how the unity between couple can also be a contributing factor into the success of the union. The author posed a question at the end which is worth pondering on.
Subsequent chapters were interviews conducted by the author with his parents as the interviewee and their Best man and woman at their wedding. It is amazing that they are still friends till date and worthy of celebration is that they are all alive and well.
His parents talked about how they met and how they overcame every challenge that came their way during the course of their 50 years of marriage especially when his dad was diagnosed with glaucoma. As expected it was a trying period for the couple but due to their resolve for a successful marriage, they communicated to one another the best way they knew how and worked their way through it. They also discussed their parenting style in raising blessed and successful children.
I love this advice given by Tosin's mum And to intending couples, more than anything, your values must align before you even mouth the idea of marriage. If your values are not compatible and you decide to go ahead, it would only be a matter of time before that marriage would snap
Their friends also gave an insight to the mutual love and respect that existed between the author's parents during their years of courtship and even when they got married.
Chapter seven Titled For Better, For Worse - A myth or truth? In this chapter, the author's summation in this chapter lends credence to the part that Marriage is for better, for worse. He backed this with verses from the Bible.
And God the creator of heaven and earth had this to say "I create light and darkness" Definitely, there is a purpose for light and there is a purpose for darkness. So also, I believe there is a place for better for worse.
The author tried in this chapter to make readers understand that no journey in life is devoid of challenges, most especially in marriage and I agree with him. He advocated for unity between couples to overcome all the challenges life throws.
There were beautiful pictures of the family and a special request by the author's father that was granted, and it was such a sweet and respectful request.
The final chapter was dedicated to the author's experience of his parents. He paid homage to his exceptional parents and wrote about the love and support they gave him over the years. He also wrote about how his take on marriage and how he knows his marriage too will be as successful as his parents and I say a loud AMEN to that.
This book is overall a good read and has insightful advice for new and intending couples.
